Escape to Paradise: The Elegant Retreat Awaits in Johor Bahru
Okay, buckle up, buttercups, because we're about to dive headfirst into the gloriously messy, sometimes frustrating, but ultimately real experience that is reviewing Escape to Paradise: The Elegant Retreat in Johor Bahru. Forget textbook hotel reviews; this is a raw, unfiltered, and possibly slightly rambling account. Prepare for a wild ride.
First, let's get the nitty-gritty out of the way. You want a 5-star review that checks all the boxes? Nope. This is about finding the soul of a place - and honestly, sometimes the soul is hiding behind a wonky air conditioning unit (more on that later).
Accessibility: A Mixed Bag, But Improving.
Right off the bat—is it a cakewalk if you need it? Not entirely. Wheelchair accessibility has areas that are great (elevators, most public spaces), while others require a bit more maneuvering. I noticed some steps here and there which is tough. I’d give it a cautiously optimistic thumbs-up, and I’d definitely call ahead to confirm specific needs. Then, they have got Car Park [free of charge] where you easily can grab spaces.
Getting There & Getting Around: Pretty Decent.
Airport transfer? YES. Thank goodness. Because after a long flight, I can’t be bothered with complicated public transport. They also provide Taxi service – but, the free parking? That’s a total win for anyone driving. Valet parking is also available for those who like a bit of extra pampering.
Cleanliness and Safety: Okay, Maybe Overkill?
I'm all about feeling safe but let's be frank. Anti-viral cleaning products, Daily disinfection in common areas, Rooms sanitized between stays, and even Sterilizing equipment…it felt like a biohazard lab at times. I appreciate the effort (especially with the current climate), but maybe calm down a little, guys? I appreciate the Hand sanitizer everywhere but, the over-the-top sanitization does give a vibe of the sterile. They also have CCTV in common areas, CCTV outside property, Fire extinguisher, Front desk [24-hour], Non-smoking rooms, Smoke alarms, and Security [24-hour].
Dining, Drinking, and Snacking: Food Glorious, But…
Okay, this is where it gets interesting, and where I'm going to get a little extra. The restaurants are plentiful and the Asian breakfast was surprisingly good. I swear I ate my weight in the buffet. However, the buffet in restaurant and a la carte in restaurant didn't always hit the mark. I was craving something, and it wasn’t on the menu. There is a Vegetarian restaurant, and the International cuisine in restaurant was also pretty good.
Here's a Story:
One night, at midnight, I find myself wandering the poolside bar alone. (Yes, it’s open 24/7, bless them.) It was dimly lit, a little mysterious, and I was craving a late-night snack. The bartender, a chatty fellow named, let's call him "Raj," was very friendly. Raj, whipped up a plate of… well, let's just say it wasn’t exactly Michelin-star quality. He also made the most amazing cocktails! It was perfect.
So, the food? Mostly great. But sometimes, you crave something simple, and that's when things can get a little disappointing. Don't get me wrong, the room service [24-hour] is a lifesaver.
Ways to Relax (and Maybe Not): My Spa Saga
Body scrub, Body wrap, Fitness center, Foot bath, Gym/fitness, Massage, Pool with view, Sauna, Spa, Spa/sauna, Steamroom, Swimming pool, and Swimming pool [outdoor] - oh, the choices! This place is a relaxation factory. Now, I love a good spa. I live for them. And Escape to Paradise delivers on the "spa" promise…kind of.
Here's the Problem: The Sauna and Steamroom… were out of service when I arrived. Major disappointment! I was so bummed! I was really looking forward to that pre-massage steam.
Oh, the Massage! That was my redemption. The therapist was a true artist, and I swear I melted into the table. That saved the day. Thank goodness.
Services and Conveniences: The Good, the Bad, and the "Oh, Really?"
Air conditioning in public areas (thank GOD). Cash withdrawal (because who carries cash anymore, right?). Concierge (helpful, but sometimes seemed a bit…flustered). Daily housekeeping (meticulous, if a little too eager to tidy up my things) shudders. Elevator, Ironing service, Laundry service, Luggage storage, Safety deposit boxes, and a Convenience store… all the basics are covered.
Here's the "Oh, Really?": While there is a Gift/souvenir shop, it wasn't exactly brimming with unique treasures. It was, well, your standard hotel gift shop fare.
For the Kids: Family-Friendly Vibes (Mostly)
Babysitting service, Family/child friendly, Kids facilities, and Kids meal - Escape to Paradise is definitely geared toward families. I saw plenty of happy kids splashing in the pool.
Available in All Rooms: Comfort, With a Few Quirks
Air conditioning, Alarm clock, Bathrobes, Bathroom phone, Bathtub, Closet, Coffee/tea maker, Desk, Extra long bed, Free bottled water, Hair dryer, In-room safe box, Internet access – wireless, Ironing facilities, Laptop workspace, Mini bar, Non-smoking, Private bathroom, Refrigerator, Satellite/cable channels, Seating area, Separate shower/bathtub, Shower, Slippers, Smoke detector, Telephone, Toiletries, and Wi-Fi [free].
So… the Rooms? Generally nice. BUT (and there's always a "but," isn't there?)
Here's the Annoyance: The Internet access – wireless was spotty. The Air conditioning in my room? Let's just say it had a mind of its own. One minute it was an icebox, the next it was practically sweating. And the Blackout curtains…well, they weren't quite blacked out. The sun still seeped in, mocking my attempts at a lie-in.
The Bottom Line (Finally!):
Escape to Paradise is a decent hotel with a lot of things going for it. A good spa, generally good food, and it is good for families. BUT it is not a flawless experience. The spotty wifi, the wonky AC, and the occasionally disappointing restaurant all need a little work.
My Persuasive Offer (aka, The Booking Pitch, with a Dose of Honesty):
Escape to Paradise: Johor Bahru. More Than Just a Stay, It's an Adventure (Even with the Hiccups).
Tired of cookie-cutter vacations? Crave a little luxury with a side of…well, let's say "character"? Escape to Paradise in Johor Bahru might be exactly what you're looking for.
Here's the deal: You'll find yourself relaxed in the best way possible. You'll have access to amazing facilities. You might have a few minor hiccups (the internet, the AC, possibly the food). But, hey, what adventure is perfect?
Book your stay at Escape to Paradise now and receive:
- A complimentary welcome cocktail at our poolside bar (to help you relax after that long trip!).
- Complimentary breakfast (because you deserve it).
- A 20% discount on all spa treatments (because you absolutely need that massage).
- PLUS, a guaranteed dose of delightful imperfections and unpredictable charm!
Why choose us?
- Unbeatable value: You're getting luxury at a reasonable price
- Family-friendly fun: Kids are welcome and will have a blast.
- Relaxation is our mantra: From spas and pools to cocktail bars.
- We're Honest: We're not perfect, We're real.
Don't wait! This offer won't last forever. Book your escape to paradise today, and get ready for a memorable experience that's a little bit messy, a little bit wonderful, and completely unforgettable.
Click here to book now and find your own adventure at Escape to Paradise!
Escape to Paradise: Mercure Miyagi Zao's Unforgettable Spa Retreat
Alright, buckle up buttercups, because we’re heading straight to The Elegant Retreat @ Forest City, Johor Bahru, and I'm promising you, absolutely nothing will go according to… well, anything resembling a plan. This isn't your pristine, perfectly ironed itinerary. This is me, raw and real, navigating… well, whatever the hell Forest City throws at me.
Day 1: Arrival &… Disappointment? (Spoiler: Maybe.)
8:00 AM (ish): Wake up in my usual chaotic state. Coffee? Mandatory. Pack? Probably not perfectly. I’m that person who “organizes” by stuffing things into a suitcase and hoping for the best. Malaysia-bound – check! Passport – check! Clean underwear…? (Pause for existential dread).
10:00 AM (ish): Flight (Hopefully). The airport is a zoo, as always. People are everywhere. I swear I saw a woman arguing with a vending machine. Malaysia, here I… stumble… I mean, go!
2:30 PM (ish): Land in Johor Bahru. Humidity smacks me in the face. It's like being wrapped in a warm, damp blanket. I immediately regret my carefully chosen skinny jeans. Welcome to Malaysia, indeed!
3:30 PM: Transport to Forest City. The initial view? Let’s just say my expectations, primed by the (admittedly gorgeous) promotional photos, are… challenged. It’s vast. Very, very vast. Almost unnervingly so. The buildings are sleek and futuristic, like a city designed by a supervillain with a penchant for sustainability. I'm trying to be open-minded, I really am, but a little voice in my head keeps whispering, "Are you sure this isn't a movie set?"
4:30 PM: Check into my "Elegant Retreat" accommodation. Okay, the room is, surprisingly, quite lovely. Modern, minimalist, with a fantastic view of… well, more buildings. But let’s be real, I'm not exactly sure where I am in this giant complex. There's a slight disconnect between what's promised and what's delivered. The mini-fridge is stocked with suspiciously-looking mystery drinks. Tempting, but… no.
6:00 PM: Reconnaissance mission! I wander out to explore. The sheer scale of Forest City is intimidating. I get lost. Multiple times. Wander past a surprisingly deserted beach – is it even swimmable? – and stumble upon a mall that feels like a ghost town. This is where the first tiny wave of mild panic sets in. Am I the only person here? Where's the vibe? Where's the life? I grab a lukewarm iced coffee from a slightly forlorn coffee shop.
7:30 PM: Dinner (Attempted). Find a restaurant. Try to order something that isn't suspiciously pre-packaged. It's a mixed bag. Some dishes are genuinely delicious, others… well, let’s just say my stomach’s currently evaluating the situation. I'm starting to wonder if I’m going to be an only guest here. I spot a couple other humans and let out a silent sigh of relief.
9:00 PM: Back in the room. Exhausted and thoroughly confused. Debating whether to embrace the loneliness, or just watch a movie.
Day 2: The Struggle is Real… But is it Beautiful? (Maybe!)
8:00 AM (ish): Wake up. Morning routine, repeat. The view is the same. The slight hum of the air con. I'm starting to get used to the quiet, which is both a blessing and a curse.
9:00 AM: Breakfast at the hotel. The spread is decent, and I force myself to eat something resembling a healthy breakfast, since I'm suddenly aware on how potentially hard it may be to get quality food around here.
10:00 AM: Decision time: Explore more of Forest City, or escape to the 'real' Johor Bahru. My gut – and my slightly frazzled sense of adventure – tells me to go off-campus.
11:00 AM: Find a taxi/Grab. The drive into Johor Bahru is a rollercoaster of sensory overload. The chaotic streets, the vibrant colours, the smells of… everything. It’s the antithesis of Forest City’s pristine order.
12:00 PM: Explore. I stumble upon a street food haven and eat some stuff that I'm pretty sure is amazing, even if I can't pronounce it. So delicious! I find a market and let out a massive, joyous sigh of relief. The chaos is exhilarating. The faces, the smells, the energy… it’s everything Forest City wasn’t.
2:00 PM: Stroll by the waterfront. The views are spectacular, but I am struggling to reconcile this city with the image of the sleek, glassy facade of Forest City. I start getting my feelings of the city more complex.
3:00 PM: More food. Because, Malaysia.
4:00 PM: Head back to Forest City. I feel completely, utterly drained. But in a good way.
6:00 PM: Back at the hotel, I'm starting to have a slight love-hate thing with this place.
7:00 PM: Dinner and more wandering around.
8:00 PM: More movies, quiet nights, and the slow realization that maybe, just maybe, this very odd city is… growing on me.
Day 3: Embracing the Unexpected and Packing My Bags (Maybe with a Tear?)
8:00 AM: Wake up.
9:00 AM: Breakfast.
10:00 AM: Walking around. Starting to notice the subtle beauty that I’d missed before. The way the sun hits the buildings, the way the wind whispers through the manicured gardens. I begin to see the potential, the vision.
12:00 PM: Time for lunch (and more food).
1:00 PM: Relax at the hotel.
2:00 PM: Packing.
3:00 PM: Head out to the airport.
5:00 PM: Depart.
The Truth:
This itinerary is… well, it's a mess. Some days will be fantastic. Some will be frustrating. Some will leave me utterly baffled. It might be the best travel experience ever. Or the worst? I have no idea.
But one thing's for sure: it'll be mine. And that, my friends, is the whole point, isn't it?
(I'll let you know how it goes. Maybe.)
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Alright, spill the beans! Is this "Escape to Paradise" REALLY paradise, or just another Instagram trap? (And can you actually swim in the pool without a million people photobombing?)
The "Elegant Retreat"... Sounds stuffy. Is it, like, all polished shoes and hushed whispers? Or is there a chance I can wear my (slightly ripped) favorite jeans?
The Food! Please, tell me the food is actually decent. I’ve been burned by hotel restaurants before.
What about the rooms? Are they as fabulous as the pictures show? (And are the beds actually comfortable?)
Spa Day! Is the spa worth the money? Give me the scoop, warts and all.
Is there anything to *do* besides sunbathe and eat? I get bored easily. (And what about kids? Is it kid-friendly?)
Okay, give me the *real* lowdown. What were the biggest downsides? (Everyone's got 'em!)
Would you go back? And would you recommend it? (Be honest!)
